How do I handle this situation without accusing my son of lying ?
Tags:acid reflu, acid reflux disease, benefit of the doubt, friday afternoon, friend mike,
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Here’s the incident – Gertrude as well as we used to be tied together . Now we’re divorced, as well as we have an twelve — year — aged son, Ben . Ben lives with his mother, as well as customarily spends the week end during my place . Every Friday, we call him up as well as ask him if he’s entrance over . Almost each Friday, he says “I don’t feel as well great !” .
This past weekend, Ben came over upon Friday night, though he left Saturday sunrise since he pronounced his poison reflux mildew is bothering him . we can’t assistance being questionable . we wish to take his word for it as well as give him the great of the doubt, though I’d rsther than not learn him which fibbing functions .
I know kids go by the theatre where they’d rsther than not cling to around the “old fogeys” . If that’s what Ben’s starting through, I’d rsther than he pronounced so instead of creation all these excuses . we don’t know for certain if Ben even has poison reflux mildew . It’s probable which Ben’s creation up these excuses to gangling my feelings . If that’s the case, it’s not working, since my feelings have been still removing harm .
I’m roughly ready to lay down with Ben as well as discuss it him “I know you’re fibbing as well as creation excuses . If we don’t wish to come over, contend so … as well as if you’re here, as well as we wish to go home, contend so !” .
The complaint is, we DON’T know if he’s fibbing . Gertrude doesn’t feed Ben as well great . Gertrude’s thought of the great diet is the single greaseburger after an additional . My friend, Mike, says “His mom doesn’t feed him as well good, so he’s not expected to have the appetite to go upon vacation !” .
I’m roughly ready to stop job him each Friday afternoon . Mike says we can during slightest discuss it Ben “You know where we am when we wish to come over !” .
How do we hoop this incident but accusing my son of fibbing ? Should we lay down with Ben as well as discuss it him “If we don’t wish to come over, contend so … as well as if you’re here, as well as we wish to go home, contend so !” ? Should we stop job Ben upon Friday afternoon ? Should we take Ben to the alloy as well as have him checked for poison reflux mildew ? What should we do ? Thank we in allege for your answers .
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I would ask his mother if he has seen a doctor, reflux is an unfortunate possibility, especially if he is eating a poor diet.
He is also old enough to talk to a dietitian. It could be that his diet could be causing him discomfort, especially if he isn’t eating whole grains and fresh fruits and vegetables. A poor diet can also lead to a weakened immune system, which can leave him more susceptible to illnesses.
Either way he is still a child, but he isn’t a baby, you should talk to him about how he feels coming to visit you. Have an open, honest discussion about it and ask him about how he feels about visiting every weekend. He may be reaching an age where he would like to spend some weekends playing with friends instead of being shuttled back and forth from parent to parent (believe me, I know how that feels and it isn’t always fun, especially if your parents are always arguing or talking bad about each other).
I don’t think you should talk in a threatening manner or accuse your son of anything. What you should do is sit down with him and ask him to have an honest conversation with you. Ask him if there is anything bothering him and tell your son that you are there for him if he needs to talk, or if he needed anything at all. Let him be comfortable around you so that he can be more open towards you. With teenage boys, sometimes it’s hard for them to get emotional about anything or even get anything out of them. I’m sure it’s also hard for him having to split time between you and his mother. Be his friend.
I think the issue you need to be addressing is why he feels that if he is ill, he’ll be better cared for at his mum’s place. Why not just tell him you will look after him when he’s ill, and put him to bed with a hot water bottle?